The Cartoon Leopard Express Birthday Story!
by RaDiCaLmE
Summary: Honor H. isn't ready to be 17 yet. Luckily, her friend somehow brings in a blue snow leopard along with Spongebob, Invader Zim, CatDog, the Angry Beavers, Arnold, and Tommy Pickles to go on a random birthday adventure!


**THE CARTOON LEOPARD EXPRESS**

**By Gwen, the narrator**

Honor H. might've been the most hyper active and brutal teen the world had ever known, but deep down she was truly a somewhat happy person. Despite hating most of the human race like we all secretly do, Honor had a tremendous group of friends among her.

Honor's birthday was on September 14th- _Hey, only a couple weeks before mine! Erm- sorry, sorry-_ anyway Honor's birthday was on the 14th, and one day she decided to go up to her artistically beast companion named Gwen. Who supports Harry Potter over Twilight, may I add.

"Gweeb, it's only a couple days before I turn seventeen!"

"Chyea, it is!" I- _I mean Gwen_ exclaimed, "Aren't you excited?"

Honor's eager expression turned sad. "Well...no."

Gwen looked confused, "No? What do you mean? You've been talking about it for days."

"I know, but it's just that we only have a couple years left of high school...which believe me, I completely loathe."

"True dat."

"But I'm growing up too fast. All our favorite childhood cartoons have been cancelled for years..." Honor sat down on a bench and Gwen joined her.

"Well, Honor, what can you do?" Gwen shrugged casually.

"I don't know. It'd just be cool if I could meet them for a day! And we'd all travel through space on a blue snow leopard!"

"Uhhh blue snow leopard?"

"Uh-huh."

"...I'll be back." Gwen spoke in an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation and sidestepped out of sight.

For the next couple of hours Honor sat there, getting impatient by the minute. Soon enough she got a text on her phone from Gwen saying 'Meet me in front of your house tomorrow afternoon. Bring snacks!'

The next day arrived. Like any 21st century teen Honor woke up at exactly noon and realizing the time, she rushed downstairs in her clothes and snagged several snacks from the kitchen.

"Where the crap is she?" Honor wondered aloud as she stood on her front yard. A whooshing noise could be heard from afar, and when Honor looked up she was truly astonished.

"HOLY SH-"

_"HEYYYYYY HONOOOOOR! HAPPY EARLY BIIIIIRTHDAY!" _

A cheerful yet playfully maniacal laughter filled the skies as a blue furry figure descended towards the ground, it's rider holding a large sack.

"DAHAHAHAHAAA! Oof!" As soon as the blue-furred snow leopard landed Gwen clumsily tumbled off it and landed flat-face on the ground, the sack crushing her back.

"GWEN? I-what the-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Is it safe!"

"Of course it is!" Gwen laughed as she pulled herself out, "After all, it is your early birthday present!"

Honor's terrified look turned soft, and her eyes wide with tears ready to burst.

"You..._you got me my birthday present?"_ She asked with a face that only a friend could love.

_"Uh-huh."_ Gwen sniffled with the same sick happy expression her friend shared in this friendship moment. "Just for you! A blue snow leopard from the heavens above!"

"Snow leopards can fly?" Honor asked excitedly as she ran to meet the leopard.

"Hey, if they're blue they can do about anything, can't they?" Gwen chuckled.

"Hello, young earth child." The leopard spoke in a woman's voice.

"Wow, Zoe Saldana!" Honor exclaimed.

"Yes, I get that a lot for my nature instincts similar to her role in Avatar and my jerky attitude like Uhura from Star Trek 2009. But you may call me Shalanakiki."

"Sweet!" Honor squealed.

"You get one day with Shalankookoo here to travel the world with your companions." Gwen explained.

"Companions? What companions?"

With an even wider grin, Gwen threw the sack out and all it's contents rolled out in pain.

_**"**_**_HOLY WORDS THAT SHOULD BE CENSORED BUT GWEN IS TOO LAZY TO!_**_**!"**_ Honor shrieked as she held the petrified bunch of characters in a hug. **"IT'S SPONGEBOB, ARNOLD, INVADER ZIM, CATDOG, DAGGET AND NORBERT BEAVER PLUS TOMMY PICKLES!"**

The first reaction from the group came from Tommy, who began wailing.

**"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?"** The rest cried at about the same time.

"W-We don't wanna take apart in any crime you guys are committing!" Cat cried.

"RELEASE ZIM AT ONCE, HYOOMAN FOOL!" The alien demanded.

"Yeah, what he said!" Dagget added, "Wait. Why do you sound like me?-"

"OH MY GOSH, THEY'RE ALL REAL!" Honor laughed as she dropped them, "Gwen! You...HOW?"

"I DUNNO!" The friend answered with a dumb grin.

"Can someone explain WHAT IS GOING ON?" Norbert Beaver cried in between of them.

"You're all going on an adventure with her!" Gwen announced, pointing at Honor who looked happily crazed and possibly dangerous at the moment.

"...Works for me!" Dog said stupidly.

"YAY AN ADVENTURE WITH NEW FRIENNDS!" Spongebob said gayly as he hopped on the

back of Shalanakiki. Whether I mean 'happy' gay or 'homo' gay, I'll never tell ;)

Honor threw every reluctant and squirming passenger on board, the last being Arnold.

"Um, listen I'd like to come and all but uh I don't want to worry my grandparents." Arnold said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Aw Arnold, you were always so awkward and nice at the same time! Hahaha, _now get on the leopard."_

"But I-"

**"I SAID NOW!"** Honor roared in a monstrous voice as she forcefully threw him down, and then hopped on herself.

"Have fun exploring the world!" Gwen waved as Shalankiki slowly began to float, then soared upward!

**"AHHHH! AHHHHH!"** Everyone screamed as they held onto the fur. This excluded a laughing Honor and a still crying Tommy.

"DEAR TALLEST, this isn't anything like the voot cruiser!" Zim screamed as he nearly slid off.

"WEEEEEE THIS MUST BE WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR JELLYFISH!" Spongebob cheered.

"WHAT TOXINS ARE YOU ON? Jellyfish don't fly out of water!" Cat snapped.

"Is this going to end any time soon?" Arnold cried.

"Hopefully never! Because we're off to _**ADVENTURRRREE!" **_Honor shouted as they flew out of sight along the horizon...

* * *

><p>"Ok. So maybe we're not off on to a very good adventure..." Arnold sweat-dropped.<p>

_**"NOOOOOOoooo! WHY, SHALANKIKI, WHY?" **_Honor cried dramatically as she fell down on her knees. Her and all the toons stood near the edge of a cliff where Shalankiki lay unconscious. The setting around them were dry sandy canyons and a blinding sunset. Plus, Tommy was still crying out loud.

"Wow. Thirty minutes in this looney bin and we've already crash-landed." Norbert said, looking unimpressed.

"Because we were off to ADVENTUREEEE-"

**"DAMMIT SPONGEBOB, THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR SINGING AND FOR ME TO NOT HAVE THE URGE TO PUNCH YOU!" **Honor screamed at the Sponge who shrunk down.

"Yesss, sit down and BE QUIET WITH YOUU, Sponge-stink!" Zim demanded.

"Heheh, Sponge-stink. Seriously though, has anyone else noticed his voice sounds EXACTLY like my voice?"

As usual Dagget was ignored, to which Dog decided to turn to Spongebob.

"Hey, Spongebob?"

"Yes, Dog?" He was still happy as could be as if he hadn't just been threatened.

"Have you noticed whenever you make your voice nasally and when I make mine less we almost sound alike?"

"See? SEE? That's what I've been trying to say-"

"Excuse me, can we please ignore the demonic beaver out of the two and focus on WHY WE CRASH-LANDED!" Norbert exploded, looking as if he were about to scratch someone's eyes out.

"Well, one minute we were flying until an airplane came outta nowhere and I guess we struck the wing...?" Arnold suggested.

"WHAT? Nooo!" Honor shrieked as she dramatically collapsed onto the leopard's back, "No, Shalankiki, you can't die! You can't!"

_"I'm...not...dying...you...idiot...you're...crushing...MY...LUNGS..."_ The leopard growled, making Honor inch back.

"Wow. She really does have that Star Trek 09 Uhura ego." Spongebob noted.

"As nice as that is, can someone please explain WHY THIS BABY IS STILL CRYING?" Cat bellowed, pointing at Tommy who was still sitting and crying like there was no tomorrow.

"Aw Cat, _he's just a sad widdle baby!"_ Dog said picking up Tommy, "All he needs is a little love."

"Hand over the screeching stink-filth to Zim!" The invader demanded, snatching the baby.

**"WAHHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHH!"**

"Foolish smeet! Zim DEMANDS YOU HAVE THE SILENCE OF A THOUSAND DEAD MOOSE!"

**"...WAHH! WAHHHH!" **

"I don't think he likes dead moose." Dog said bluntly.

"Hey, maybe he can suck on this like a rattle until he accidentally pokes out his voice box and dies." Dagget suggested, holding up a screwdriver he had found.

Tommy immediately stopped crying, "Hey, thats my screwdriver! You found it, gimme!"

**"DEAR LORD, THE BABY TALKS!"** Norbert screamed.

"He's probably just really intelligent." Arnold piped up, not wanting something else stupid to happen.

_"SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"_ Spongebob shrieked girlishly.

"I'M ON IT!" Dagget announced.

And then he tossed the screw-driver over the edge of the cliff.

**"...WAHHHH! WAHHHH-"**

"Seeing as of how your companions are of no help, I must tell you something important, my child." Shalankiki told Honor, ignoring the groans and cries in the background. "I am not injured, for I can physically heal. But after a hit like that it takes a while to regain the energy I need to fly us home."

"Oh bluey blueness snow leopard, I am willing to wait however long it takes for you to recharge!" Honor told her.

"It'll take about three weeks for me to recharge."

"..." Honor stared down at the sacred creature, a stony a dead look in her eye. Silently, she stood up and began walking while dragging the paralyzed leopard by her tail.

"H-Hey! What are you doing?"

"My birthday is in two days, I'm not salvaging out here for three effin weeks! COME ON, DUMB DUCKS!"

_"COMIIIIING!"_ Spongebob sung with a high-pitch, the others grudgingly followed and dragged the still WHINING TATER TOT.

"Wait, we cannot just travel away from our spot, it's too dangerous!" Shalankiki warned.

"No, what's dangerous is falling down a random pit and having your arm crushed by a rock, then CUTTING off that arm."

"Ooh, like that guy from 127 hours!"

"WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK, YOU POSSIBLY HOMO-SEXUAL SPONGE?" She turned her head to yell at the confused sponge, who seemed to ponder the meaning of the word 'homo-sexual'.

"I mean if we stay too close to the cliff at nighttime, we might be seen by the Rolfkolkian Octigonigal Platypus!" Shalankiki explained.

"...The what?"

"Is it like the Easter Platypus?" Zim asked.

"Far worse! These gigantic crossbreeds of platypuses and octopuses feed on my own kind, and they only appear in these canyons at nightfall-"

"Woah woah woah canyons? Where are we exactly?"

"The Grand Canyons."

"..." In a silent unemotional rage, Honor dropped the tail and gave Shalankiki a gentle push-

-that sent her tumbling down the steep hill over the edge of the cliff.

**"GAAAAAAHHHH **_**YOU LITTLE BRAAAAAaaaa..."**_Thud!

"...Um, Honor?"

"Yes, Arnold?"

"Why did you just push Shalankiki off the edge?"

"'Cause she's a lazy hookah who makes excuses not to move around. Now lets go get her!"

The whole group carefully made their way down the steep hill down the cliff, which felt like it lasted for hours and hours. This became evident because by the time they made it to the bottom; sunset had come to an end, and the skies were now gray and dim. Everyone walked forward and looked around.

"Well...where is she?" Cat asked.

Dog looked at him. "Who?"

"The snow leopard!"

"Maybe she went and ditched us." Norbert said.

"I probably would've ditched us too if some spoot-head pushed me off a cliff." Dag spoke, crossing his arms.

"Or some DISGUSTING EARTH WORM WAS STILL CRYING!" Zim pointed angrily at Tommy who had been holding his leg the whole time and STILL FREAKING CRYING AS IF HE HAD WATCHED SOMEBODY SHOOT MICKEY MOUSE.

"Waaaait a minute. I think I forgot something important now that it's dark time. Something reeeeeeeally important." Honor rubbed her chin in thought. What important fact could she have forgotten?

**BOOM!**

**"OH FUDGE-MONKEYS!"** Everyone cried in unison as a massive hole that took up the area they were in appeared. Everyone clung to each other to stop themselves from falling in.

_**"RAWWWWRRR!" **_

They all watched in disbelief as a see-through beast came flying out of the whole and into the night time sky before them.

A gigantic platypus was floating high above them, not like any they had seen before. It's eyes were blood red and sharp razor teeth poked out of it's beaky mouth. It has no fur, only scales, all limbs (including tail were replaced by a set of eight tentacles. Shalankiki was seen to be trapped in one of the tentacles.

"SHALANKIKI! Are you alright?" Honor called.

"Oh yes, just splendid! Perfectly splendid! What could be wrong- **NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT YOU DUMB ****! **I'm about to be eaten alive!"

"We've gotta help her!" Spongebob cried heroically.

"And why should we?" Zim asked.

"Because, she's in DANGER!" Arnold said, looking annoyed.

"Plus, she's our only way home." Cat reminded.

"WE'RE COMING SHALANKIKIIII!" Honor gave a battle cry and charged forward with everyone else except for Dagget, Zim, and the crying Tommy Pickles.

"Pfft you stupid humans, Zim has his own communicator! I can simply call home,

ask GIR to bring the ship and get me out of- HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Zim made a choking noise as Dagget ripped off his PAK and slammed it repeatedly into the ground, then stomped on it until it was crumpled and dented.

"Ha! Whattaya think of your so-called _spooty _communicator now?"

"ACK, YOU FOOL!" Zim yelled in terror as he fell on his knees and observed his beloved PAK, "That wasn't just a communicator, that was my life support system! **I ONLY HAVE TEN MINUTES TO LIVE!"**

"What? Really? Oh...well..._that sucks."_

"DAG, COME ON!" Norbert called.

**"I DIDN'T DO IT**-Oh, uh, coming Norby!" Dagget stammered as he sped up to catch the others.

The seven of them stood tall and faced the beast, it's mouth opened and about to close on Shalankiki.

"YO, OCTOPUS PLATYPUS CRAP-LARD!" Honor yelled up to it.

The beast looked down, glaring at everyone and making them tremble save for Honor.

"Yeaaah, I'm talking to YOU! I bet all you ever do is sit home and order delivery for snow leopards while reading Twilight!"

_**"ROARRRRRR!"**_ The platypus screeched in anger.

"I think you went too far with the Twilight comment!" Cat said nervously as a tentacle began falling down in them.

**"HARRYPOTTERRULES!"** She screamed in one sentence before Dog had grabbed her and jumped to the side along with the other nick-toons. With the tentacle still slammed into the ground, Spongebob grinned and whipped out one of his large red

gloves used for karate.

"KA-BLAM!" He shouted, victoriously chopping off the end of the tentacle. The creature screamed in agony as his whole tentacle evaporated into nothingness.

"The tentacles! You must destroy all of the tentacles-ERK!" Shalankiki gasped in pain as the Rolfolkian Octogonigal platypus tightened it's grip and opened it's mouth again to eat the leopard.

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Dagget laughed. CatDog was standing behind him; Arnold held onto Dog and Honor held Cat and pulled them both out. Dagget leaned back into their slingshot, then lifted his feet and flew in the air!

"WOOHOOOOOO!" He cheered as he plummeted himself through the tentacle that held Shakankiki. More screaming came from the Rolfkian as it's second tentacle evaporated, and Shalankiki managed to muster up enough energy to let them both float toward the ground.

"Ha! That'll show him- uh oh." Norbert paused to realize a shadow covered him and saw a third tentacle flying towards him. Licking his lips he zoomed around the whole tentacle, cutting through it with his beaver teeth! The disturbed platypus stared at where the third tentacle should've been, but it was now simply air.

"Blegh, I hate calimari..." A green-faced Norb groaned, holding his heavy stomach.

"NeGGhhNeHh, only...seven more minutes...oh, the stupidness of EARTH BEAVERRRRSSS.S.." A dying Zim fell down on the ground face down, twitching and spazzing. His laser fell out his pocket and into Tommy's lap, who stopped crying and began playing with it in fascination.

_**"AHHHHH HELLLLPPPPP!"**_ Arnold screamed as he ran as fast as he could, two large tentacles chasing him down.

"If that kid keeps running straight forward he'll end up in a dead end!" Cat cried.

A lightbulb lit itself up above Honor's head.

"HEY ARNOLD! Turn to your left and run around like your'e on a baseball field!"

"U-U-Uh, Ok!" The nine year old turned left and narrowly dodged a tentacle that stuck itself into the ground. Soon enough it was chopped to pieces, courtesy of Spongebob's karate.

The football-headed kid kept running from the other tentacle. It suddenly charge up it's speed in an attempt to catch him, but instead Arnold turned in a different direction as if he had passed second base.

"Third base, gotta have a third base...that could work!"

Only spotting Tommy playing with his laser, Arnold swiped the weapon and turned yet again.

"Thanks, Tommy!"

**"...WAHHHH! WAHHH-"**

"Quick Arnold, _**FIRE THE DAMN LASER!"**_

**"I'M TRYING!" **He yelled at Honor, growing frustrated. He looked up in horror to see the tentacle inches from his face. Slowing down to a stop, he raised the laser high and swung it at the tentacle! It made a splattering noise as it was cut off from the body and flew high into the sky, vanishing from sight.

"HOME RUN!" Everyone cheered, raising their own score boards.

"Yayyy AHHHH!" They all scurried away as three remaining tentacles chased them down. One of them circled the group and kept them trapped there. The monster's face leered down at them, grinning evilly.

"Aw, to hell with this, give me that!" Honor grabbed the laser from Arnold and shot it at the tentacle, which exploded goo all over the face.

_"Ewww..."_ Everyone groaned.

The platypus gave another roar of anger, threatening to whip them with it's second to last tentacle. Giving it another glare, Honor reached above her and grabbed the thinking bulb out of thin air. then smashed it at the tentacle!

**"RAAWRRRrrRrrRrrRr!"** It cried in pain as more goo splattered on itself, it's limb vanishing before their eyes.

**"WHO WANTS SOME? **_**I'LL CUT YOUUUU!"**_She cried, pointing the broken bulb in close range to the beast.

_"This is starting to scare me a little."_ Norbert whispered to his brother.

"AHAHAHHAHAHA- Hey wait, what the hell?" Honor was forced to drop her weapons as the last tentacle wrapped itself around her and lifted her up. "Ack! Put me down! Help me!"

The nicktoons jumped in the air dramatically, preparing to pounce the beast! Unfortunately, they were all whipped in the face and fell down.

"Wow. They're not just nick-toons. _They're dumb ****'s."_ Honor concluded.

As the poor sixteen-year old was about to be eaten, Tommy had ceased his loud crying to notice one familiar shiny tool that lay on the ground a few feet from the floating platypus.

_"Screwdriveeeeer..." _He droned with wide shiny eyes and began crawling towards his tool.

"Craaaap I don't wanna die like this!" Honor groaned out loud as she faced the goo-covered platypus's face. "Can't you just wait until I'm seventeen? Or how about we do this another time, like say December 21st 2012?"

Screeching at her face, it opened it's mouth, ready to bite down-

_Thunk!_ **"KYAHHHH!" **The Rolfolkian screamed in pain at the screwdriver that had flown out of nowhere and stuck itself into the last tentacle's skin.

"Wow, nice weapon!" Dog exclaimed, "Wonder where it came from..."

Everyone was too busy watching the tentacle fade to notice an innocent-looking Tommy clapping and giggling to himself.

"WOO WE DID IT!" Honor cheered as she plummeted towards the ground. Luckily she had landed on Spongebob.

"Good thing your made out of sponge!" She told him before getting up.

"I can't feel my legs..."

"Excellent, young warriors. You've rid the beast of it's tentacles!" Shalankiki congratulated, "Now all we have to do is pray we get sent up to heaven as the Rolfolkian Onctigonigal Platypus unleashes it's full power upon us."

"Wait, what?" Honor asked.

Everyone watched in horror as a goo-covered platypus screamed down at them, it's whole body glowing different colors.

"AW CRAP!"

"I don't know what's worse!" Norbert cried, "The fact that this thing is gonna crush us or that it's garbage-smell is STINKING up the whole place!"

Dog, who had been shaking in fear like the rest, suddenly became still and his eyes wide.

_"Garbage..."_ He droned, almost like a zombie.

"Oh no-Dear LORD NO." Cat panicked, "You JUST had to say the G-WORD-"

**"GARBAGE TRUCK!** _**GARBAGETRUCKGARBAGETRUCK-"**_

**"Roo?"** The monster stopped glowing, and watched in confusion as the Dog came running at him, dragging poor Cat along.

_**"-"**_

**"Rawr! (Oh hell naw!)"** Looking very afraid, the monster floated away as fast as it could howling in fear as the CatDog chased it down. Everyone watched in disbelief before the two were out of sight.

"..."

"..."

"...Uhm...you know what, I'm going to assume we won." Shakankiki shrugged.

"YAYYY!" Everyone cheered hugging each other!

"Whew! And to think, we ALL made it out alive!" Norbert exclaimed.

"YEAHHH _ohhhh.."_

"What is it, Dag?"

"Erm...well, uh-"

"Has anyone noticed Zim didn't join in this fight?" Arnold suddenly asked.

"Yeah, you'd think out of everyone he could've killed that thing in a sec." Honor said.

"Guys, over here!"

Everyone turned to Tommy who had crawled away and they followed him. Several gasps escaped at the sight. A barely conscious Zim lay on the ground, his destroyed PAK lying next to him with static coming out of it. He was still slightly twitching, but was completely pale and had raspy breaths.

"What...I don't understand!" Arnold cried, "He didn't even join the fight at all! How could this have happened?"

"The beast must've used it's physcic energy to destroy the life-support system of this alien." Shalankiki spoke.

"Uhhhh...yeah, right." Dag said awkwardly, "The beast. Yeah. _Of course."_

"He does not have long for this world."

"No, Zim! You can't leave us!" Spongebob cried as he hugged the dying alien, "I won't let you!"

_"You...said the same thing...when I got_ _CANCELLED._.." Zim hissed bitterly.

"Oh yeah, I did, didn't I?" He recalled, dropping the body.

"Shalankiki, your'e a sacred snow leopard, do something!" Honor cried.

"I'm not sure. During this short period of time I have not regained much energy..."

"Do anything, please! He's the only show I really like out of all these snobs!"

"HEY!" The other snapped.

"No offense."

The leopard quietly walked towards the destroyed PAK and raised her paw above it. A blue sparkling energy slowly came out of her paw and into the PAK. During this action the alien's technology trembled uncontrollably, all of it's dents fixed themselves and were put back into place. In just a few seconds the PAK looked brand new! It levitated off the ground for a moment and toward's Zim's back, putting itself back into place.

Zim shot up and gasped, looking full of color and life, **"IT WAS THE DIB WHO TORCHED YOUR CLASSROOM, MS. BITTERS! NOT ZIM! I-**Eh?"

"ZIM, YOUR ALIVE!" Honor cheered, hugging the alien.

"What? I am? I mean, YES! ZIM LIVES!" He cried victoriously with his fists raised!

_"Great to have you back, you green freak you!"_ Dagget greeted cheerfully.

Zim's face was not cheerful, however. He merely glared daggers at the beaver, who cringed nervously.

"...Earth-stink?"

"Uh, yeah?" Honor asked.

"My laser. Now."

"Hey wait, what are you donna do with that thing?" Dagget cried, "Wait; WAIT, NOT THE TAIL-!"

Everyone laughed happily as poor Dagget was chased down and nearly blasted by the screaming alien who threw a tantrum. Why? They didn't really care, it was just funny to watch.

"Hiya, guys! What did we miss?" Dog asked as he came back into the scene, looking as if he hadn't gone into garbage-truck hysteria.

"Hey, Dog! What did you do with the platypus?" Honor asked.

"Umm well I think I chased him off a cliff, much taller than the one we were on and uh...I don't think he's coming back, right Cat?"

_"I...just don't CARE...anymore..."_ Cat growled, lying on the ground in bruises and scratches.

"So, Shalankiki, I think I'm ready to go home. How about it?"

"Unfortunately, I still must use my three weeks to recharge."

"..." Honor, looking unamused reached to her left and grabbed a now- terrified Zim by his PAK. She shook him a little, making a spider-leg pop out and pointed it dangerously close to Shalankiki's throat. "You were saying?"

"...In all honesty, I was only joking when I said it would take three weeks to

recharge. Just give me a day, Ok?"

"That's what I thought."

* * *

><p>September 14th had to be a boring wednesday, AKA a school day. All of Honor's friends sat at their lunch table, looking gloomy and depressed that the birthday girl wasn't there.<p>

"Man, this sucks! How are we supposed to wish Honor happy birthday if she isn't here?" Ciara complained.

"Where again did you say she was, Gwen?" Chris asked.

Gwen, who had been worried sick realized Chris was talking to her. "Uh...The second to the North Star?"

Suddenly, a large figure crashed through the doors of the cafeteria, sending all the students running away screaming.

**"EVERYBODY RUN, THERE'S A WILD BLUE LEOPARD IN THE CAFETERIA!"**

_"It's even got two rabid beavers riding it!"_

_"There's also some weirdly deformed combination of two other animals!"_

Honor's friends remained in the cafeteria, walking towards the beast. They were all shocked to see the group.

"Honor! Thank god, YOUR ALIVE!" Gwen screamed with joy as her friend jumped off of Shalankiki, "You didn't come back at all! I thought Shalankiki might have eaten you!"

"Shalanwho?" Ciara asked.

"Don't worry, Gweeb, I'm alright! And look, I even kept the nicktoons alive!" She pointed to the cartoon characters who climbed down Shalankiki's back.

_**"AHHH, CHILDHOOD HALLUCINATIONS! RUN!"**_ Chris cried as he and the group ran off screaming, dragging a confused Gwen along.

"Thanks for taking me on this adventure, Shalankiki! I think I'm actually ready to grow up now..."

"I am glad to have helped someone as young as yourself live one last childhood-experience. Now if you wish to say goodbye to the rest, you might as well do it now, for once I return them home I too will rejoin with my kind within the heavens."

"Awww, you badly drawn people, I'm gonna miss choo!" Honor squealed as she hugged the nicktoons.

"Dawww, we're gonna miss ya too!" Spongebob sung as they hugged back.

"Spongebob, I just have one question." Honor said as they ceased their hugging, "Do you _love _Sandy?"

The sponge blushed at the question. _"Welllllll, I don't think I could answer that with a SIMPLE yes."_

"Great! I just needed to make sure you didn't really turn gay for Patrick or Squidward after the movie. Tell the Chocolate guy he rules!"

"Wait, what?" Ignoring the confused sponge, she moved on to the next person.

"Hey Arnold, can you do me a favor when you return home?"

"Sure, anything."

"Tell Helga you love her!"

"W-What? _I-I don't even like Helga_! And besides, I'm only nine-"

"That still can't stop true loveee!" She said, and left him disturbed to talk to Zim.

"Can you tell Dib that he's awesome and my favorite?"

"Foolish human! You think Zim simply can walk into enemy territory and converse with them? **HMMM? DO YOUUUU?"**

"Yes."

"...All right, Zim will tell him."

"Yay!" She then walked up to the Angry Beavers. "You two will always come before the Angry Birds!"

_"Yeahhhh!" _They cheered, knuckle-touching her. Honor walked over to Tommy, who stared up at her.

"Yo, Tommy Pickles, when you turn eleven I want you to dye your hair brown or black or something. It'd be too weird if it was purple, even if that's your dad's hair color."

_"Well, a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do." _He shrugged, not really caring.

"And CatDog, I just have one important question for you."

"What's that, Honor?" Dog asked.

_"...How do you take a crap?"_

"..." The two heads stared at her for the longest time, then at each other.

"...Should we?" Cat asked his brother.

"Awww, why not? What's the worst that could happen?"

"Alright..." Cat gestured for Honor to come over, which she did, and let them both whisper on her ear. During the explanation, Honor's face went through several changes. First expression was calm, then confused,then contorted, then confused again, and last but not least completely and utterly scarred for life beyond belief. She slowly backed away once the explanation was over. Her mouth was open, eyes wide, and she was shaking all over unable to make a sound.

"Now, I know it sounds tormenting, but if you just let it calmly sink in-"

**"AHHHHHHHHH!"** She cut Cat off with a blood-curdling scream, "**AHHHHHHH **_**OH DEAR GOD! DEAR GOD! AHHHHH-" **_

Ignoring the stupefied expressions of everyone, she ran off and out of the cafeteria, her screams of bloody murder echoing through the hallways.

"...She was...nice to meet?" Norbert said.

"Intriguing." Zim muttered.

"...Can you tell _me_ now?" Dagget eagerly asked the CatDog.

**THE END.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONOR! FROM GWEEB :D**


End file.
